Bishop Michael Curry’s sermon during the 2018 British Royal Wedding was fire. He emphasized love as a redemptive and unifying force. It was a healing balm offered to a world torn apart by division.
Witnessing Bishop Curry’s message was a humbling experience.
Love is the way
“There is power in love.
Don’t underestimate it. Don’t oversentimentalize it.
There is power, power in love.”
— Bishop Michael Curry
Growing up in a religious Christian household, I became disillusioned by the exclusionary preaching of the Church. I’d hear talk about love and at the same sermon hear condemnations of other interpretations about God and the Bible as misguided or wrong. Many churches claimed to be the true church. You followed their way or you were on a highway to hell.
Why was one interpretation of the Bible more correct than another interpretation — and who decides?
Where was the infallible proof that the Christian church was correct over other religious, philosophical and spiritual traditions? The Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Taoists, Hindus, Atheists… Maybe they have it right, maybe everybody has it right, and maybe nobody has it right.
We’ll never know with absolute certainty whether we’re right or not.
Bishop Curry’s message thundered because it tackled the stereotype of the Church as self-righteous and holier than thou. Curry’s sermon boomed across the chapel:
Our divisions are illusory.
Let’s build upon one thing we can all agree on — love is the way.
“Cause when love is the way, we actually treat each other, well, like we are actually family.”
— Bishop Michael Curry
Family isn’t perfect. Family fights. But at the end of the day you put your differences aside and solve disagreements together.
Because that’s what families do, they stick together.
Love as the basis of change
“When love is the way we will lay down our swords and shields down by the riverside to study war no more.”
— Bishop Michael Curry
Love is not a magical, frilly fairy-tale.
Bishop Curry emphasizes love as a pragmatic choice. We can choose (to) love in any circumstance. Choosing love is not easy. It requires putting aside one’s ego in service of a greater good. Choosing love transforms anger into purpose.
If we’re fed up with the world as it is, we’ve got to try new ways to heal the future. War doesn’t solve much, it makes a lot of people suffer and a lot of people very angry. Hatred doesn’t solve much, it makes a lot of people suffer and a lot of people very angry.
What about love?
The radical idea here isn’t to love those who love you. Anybody can do that. Bishop Curry’s message instead emphasizes one of Jesus’ key teachings. A lesson shared by many religions and spiritual traditions — Love your enemies.
Choose love when it’s hard and difficult.
Choose love even when you have every right to be angry.
Understanding is love’s other name
“Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person.
Understanding is love’s other name.
If you don’t understand, you can’t love.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Think back to an argument you’ve had with a friend or family member. Fights last forever when you’re both set on determining a winner and loser. Everybody holds their ground — I’m right, you’re wrong.
What happens when we stop justifying ourselves and start listening?
We learn why the other person felt hurt and why they felt wronged.
Maybe we apologize. Maybe we both apologize. Maybe we realize that the problem was miscommunication and wasn’t as big of a deal as we thought.
Dialogue opens when we seek to understand their pain.
Without dialogue, there is no healing. Without understanding, everybody talks and nobody listens. We forget how to treat each other with human dignity and respect.
Understanding is powerful because it transforms enemies into friends. With understanding, there is no distinction between “us” and “them”. We are all human. We learn to focus on our shared grievances rather than waste energy squabbling with each other. We learn to build solutions, together.
Forgiveness and redemption
“Un-forgiveness is like cancer. It will eat you from the inside out. It’s not about the other person. Me forgiving him does not diminish what he has done.
Yes, he murdered my son.
But the forgiveness is for me.”
— Mary Johnson
Mary Johnson lost her 20 year old son in 1993 when he was murdered at a party. 17 years later, Mary Johnson forgave her son’s murderer and lives as his neighbour.
The forgiving process was painful.
After the murder, Mary recalled:
“The root of bitterness ran deep, anger had set in and I hated everyone. I remained like this for years, driving many people away.
But then, one day, I read a poem which talked about two mothers — one mother whose child had been murdered and the other mother whose child was the murderer. It was such a healing poem all about the commonality of pain and it showed me my destiny.”
— Mary Johnson
Today, Mary Johnson heads the organization “From Death to Life” which is dedicated to “ending violence through healing and reconciliation between families and those who have caused harm”.
Though senseless violence took the life of Mary’s son, her willingness to forgive inspires countless others as her actions exemplify the power of love and a message of hope.
There was no obligation for Mary to forgive her son’s murderer. She chose forgiveness because she recognized the power that lay within a path of love. No amount of anger or bitterness could bring back her son. The road toward hatred only brought only more hatred.
So she chose love.
“Love is not selfish. Love can be sacrificial. And In so doing, becomes redemptive.”
— Bishop Michael Curry
